I started watching a new show on NBC called “Ordinary Joe” and it had me really thinking about my life and the decisions and choices we all face every day. The show is about a guy named Joe who shows us, the audience, different versions of his life based on 3 different paths he could choose. Does he go down the path toward his best female friend, who's clearly into him? Does he follow the path toward the new woman he met just that morning? Or does he go to dinner with his family and end up on the same career path as his father?
It’s the old movie magic idea of showing you what your life could be like if you chose another path...a different choice. The “what if” of it all.
The show reminded me that I used to live in that space. Always questioning...always unsure...daydreaming about what could have been...
What if I left that job before I got burnt out? What if I had moved out of CT and started somewhere new? What if I went to college out of state? What if I waited to get married and have kids? What if? What if? What if?
I was stuck in that space. I wasn’t present. My life was passing me by because I was always wondering what it could have been instead of what it was.
I know that some of my life choices were decided by others. Through love, guidance, support, jealousy, and to keep me small. And some choices were made by me; because I was scared, I didn’t want to take a chance, I didn’t know how to let go and move on.
But, what I know now is that as I’ve traversed this healing journey of mine I’ve found my way toward solid ground. I’m here invested in each day...fighting like hell for my dreams...and making them happen over and over again until everything I desire is in my hands.
Because I actively choose to do so every day.
I no longer am asking myself what if...now I’m asking what’s next?